The Demon Inside

Ever done or said something that was so extreme you never thought it could possibly happen? It doesn't happen often, but when it does you're completely shocked, have no idea how to react, what to say, where to go. You really can't save yourself, you've put yourself in a position that you really can't control any further. Its never a moment that we're happy about, in fact we try our very best to forget the whole thing even happened. But, when its something so extreme, so outlandish and unnatural, you can't help but remember it. We've all had these moments, we've all experienced someone else having one at some point or another, yet we never learn. Its almost like there is a secret demon in us that we can't control. He comes out at the most unexpected, most inappropriate times, and has complete power over our bodies. What is it that makes this demon come out in us though. I'm sure its very different for each individual but nonetheless, we all have that damn demon.

The Undiscovered Diamond

Ever come across something that was so unique and special, you've always dreamt of it but never knew it was possible to experience? We all find ourselves at one point in our life living in just an ordindary day. A day where nothing changes, theres nothing new and you just get bored of the same old thing. Then one day, something changes, you find something new and its like your whole world has been turned around. Its like discovering a diamond. None of us search for a diamond, we don't go out of our way to find one but we never turn it down when it appears. For some, that diamond is discovered sooner than others. Some of us wait our whole lives for it, others may never find it. But if or when we do, we never go back to that ordinary day. Everything has changed, changed for the better. Each day is something new, something unique and special that no one else has. It gives us something to look forward to, something that give us hope for something better, something just for you. I can't wait till I find mine.

Connection

I just watched "No Reservations" with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhart. What a happy-go-lucky movie! I laughed throughout the whole thing and even had a few chin quivers here and there. The best part though, was when Nick (Aaron's character) and Kate (Catherine) finally kissed. It wasn't even a big scene in the movie. Nick kissed Kate at the front door of her appartment; it was tasteful and romantic. Though, the best kiss was when he kissed her for the second time. They were sitting at a table after they had finished work at the restaurant, Nick had Kate blindfolded sitting across from her at the table. There was a pot fill with a sauce that he had put together for Kate to taste all ingrediates that were in the reciept. He brought the spoon dipped in the sauce and brought it to her lips. She ran off a few ingrediants and he brought the spoon to her mouth again. But this time, he took away as soon as it touched her lips. He took the spoon away and leaned towards to her to kiss her. It was the most romantic kiss ever! My heart melted.

How come these things only happen in movies? I would give anything to find a guy like Nick! Not to say that I'm looking, but I would not shy away from the opportunity if it presented itself. Are characters in movies suppose to resemble real life people? I guess thats the appeal to fiction, whether in movies, short stories or novels. The idea that these things do happen somewhere, gives us the wonder if it will ever happen to us. The imagination is endless but our imagination comes from something. If so, is "Nick" real?

Transition Two

I continuously find myself regretting decisions I’ve made in the past and losing trust in myself for making decisions in the future. We all have pressure in our lives to making quick and effective decisions that will ultimately leave us satisfied. I ask you, how often do you find yourself satisfied over the decisions you make? For me, more often than not, I find myself regretting those decisions and thinking about what I should have done. Even the simplest decision can bring about huge regret.
Why is it that people get frustrated with you because it takes you much longer than expected to make your decision. I guess the difference between me and them is that I lose trust in myself much more easily. When you live a life where your most important people are there to point out your most positive attributes and deepest faults, it puts much more pressure on the decisions you make and the actions you take. We want to make these people happy; we want them to put the deepest faults away and make those positive attributes stick out. The only way to do that is to impress them with making the right decisions, even though they may not benefit you, but them.
Why do we continuously beat ourselves up over our faults; regretting the things we’ve done or those we should have done. We go through life making decisions, wasting time over which decision to make; a good one or a bad one. After we’ve come up with our best decision at the time, we question ourselves and even regret the decisions we’ve made. Why? Because we want to impress the people we love.

Blow Jobs to Heart Break

I've been watching Sex & the City a lot lately. All four women, Samantha, Miranda, Carrie and Charlotte, live very separate lives under one big city. Each week they come together to rant over their short-comings and accomplishments. From blow jobs to heart break, all four women have experienced it all. Without being self-conscious or embarrassed, they all share each and every juice detail about their lives. I say, lets be more Sex and the City!

"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate" - Carrie Bradshaw

Transition

I have always said that I know what I want, but how come I find myself complaining about what I have?

Ever since I can remember, I've taken much longer than anyone else to make a decision. I look at the decision that others have made in order to make my own. Why can't I make a right decision by myself and for myself?